How Queen Esther Can Be a Model for Fibro Warriors

​     Queen Esther is one of the well known female heroines of the bible. She is regarded as one of the greatest women in Jewish history. For the Jews, hers is the most popular story told (despite the fact that there are only ten short chapters to her story); and there is a holiday celebrated about her heroism every spring called Purim. For those of you who are not familiar with the story and the holiday, here is a link: http://www.chabad.org/holidays/purim/article_cdo/aid/645995/jewish/The-Basic-Purim-Story.htm
     Why am I bringing up Queen Esther on a page dedicated to helping people with Fibromyalgia? Well...because I feel like she brings some valuable lessons that we as Warriors could use to help us live a full life while living with a chronic pain disorder. I found just the article that lists nine life lessons from Queen Esther. ( http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/9-life-lessons-from-queen-esther/) The author, Yehuda Ceitlin, brings out these lessons to be applicable to your life and I will now use some of them so that you can apply them to your life WITH fibro.

1. Believe in your hidden powers.
     I don’t know how many of you know this, but, the name “Esther,” in Hebrew, means hidden. Esther kept her identity hidden from the king because he did not like the Jews, one of the reasons being that the Jews did not bow down to him. We, as Fibro Warriors, have hidden powers as well. We have an invisible illness which means we have the ability to “hide” the way we feel (both physically and emotionally). But, we don’t have to. We can use what we know about this disorder to educate others all while living with it on our own. Because many of us are homebound, we can take the time to research and advocate for ourselves, as well as possibly teach the numerous doctors we see information about our illness that they might not yet know.

2. Embrace your destiny.
     I don’t want to start the sentence with this word, but many would: Unfortunately, a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia (until we find a cure) is a lifelong disorder. We can sit and stew and let it take us over, or like Esther, we can realize that you can’t avoid the inevitable. Esther’s cousin, and caretaker, Mordechai, apprehended that, “‘such a thing would not have happened to such a righteous woman unless she was destined to rescue her people [through it].’ G-d places us where we need to be to fulfill our mission in life.”
     There are ways to make life living with Fibromyalgia, dare I say, enjoyable. The coaching course that I took fell into my lap at just the time I needed it. I was searching and searching for something that I could do, with the limitations that I have due to my fibromyalgia, and could not find a thing. Then, a friend told me about Tami Stackelhouse’s course (http://fibromyalgiacoaching institute.com). As stated above, G-d placed this in my lap in exactly the time I needed it to be there. Now, coaching may not be for you, but maybe Fibromyalgia education or support groups might be more your style. There are a lot of things that can be done that aren’t related to Fibro as well such as painting, singing, coloring, taking online classes, etc.  Just because you have fibromyalgia does not mean you have to stop living your life.
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3. We’re stronger together.
    Fibromyalgia can be an isolating disorder and we become secluded because of the pain. We often cancel plans and sometimes lose the support of friends and family members because they don’t (and are sometimes unwilling to try to) understand or empathize with you. After being attacked by the evil character of Haman, at the advice of her cousin Mordechai Esther chose to band all the Jews together in unity.     
     Like Esther, we also deal with people who judge us because of our “invisible disorder.” Try to find those friends and family members who support you, as well as friends that have Fibro as you do. I have been lucky enough to find support groups and friends on and off line who have Fibro that I can reach out to when I feel alone or judged. We all know that judgement more often than not comes from misunderstanding; however, these are also often the same people that are not willing to be educated. So, “the best answer to hatred (or judgement) is unity.” Bind together with your Fibro friends (or Fibro supporters), on or off line and work together to get the word out about Fibro and all the other invisible illnesses. Bring awareness - that’s something you can be successful at from the comfort of your own home.

4. When in trouble, turn to G-d.
    As an Orthodox Jew, this is something important to me. Whether you are Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or non-religious, I still feel this is something you can relate to as I feel everyone reaches out to a higher power. For me, it’s G-d. I turn to G-d in times of happiness, sadness, and anger. I turn to Him whenever I feel, well, anything.     
     “Esther understood that the salvation of Israel hinged upon restoring their special relationship with G-d. Pleading at the feet of a mortal king was merely a facade behind which to disguise the Divine miracle.” Esther’s belief in G-d was strong; but, she was still fearful in using and discussing her belief in G-d with a king who did not, to save the Jews. I’m not saying that communicating with G-d, or whatever your higher power is, will save and/or heal your Fibromyalgia; however, having this open communication with G-d IS important. It’s important to have a belief system in which we can rely on. It took me a long time to realize that G-d always gives me what I need, but maybe not what I prayed for, and there is a big difference. I obviously didn’t pray to get Fibromyalgia, however, he gave me the vessel (the Fibromyalgia coaching course) so that I can be in the service field again, helping people. It may not have been what I prayed for, which was being able to work with special needs children again, but in a way, I am still working with a “special needs” population - and I have no problem counting myself among that group as well. So open up to G-d or whatever higher power you believe in, and use that power to help you get through some of those more difficult times of Fibro - as you know we all have them.

5. Prepare to make sacrifices.
       So many things change with a Fibro diagnosis. One of the biggest ones often being how we live our lives. Many people end up having to quit or be fired from their job, become severe depressed, have difficulty with their spouses and/or get divorced, the upsetting list can go on. But, there are ways to live a positive life with Fibro even with making sacrifices. Yes, it’s true; we may not be able to live as active a life as we once did, but there are still activities we can include in your life, especially if scheduled rest periods (something that, as a Fibro Advisor, with which I could help you) are included. So, don’t give up on coffee dates, walks in the park, or vacations. Just realize that the walks in the park may need to be shorter, the vacations will need to have built in breaks and longer scheduled sleeping times, and the coffee date schedules may need to be with friends who understand that we may need to cancel at the last minute because of how we are feeling.                 Esther’s sacrificial decision was to approach the king without being summoned. This was a capital offense and punishable by death. The reason for the meeting was to ask to save the Jews. Esther knew her fate was in her hands; yet, she was prepared literally to be sacrificed for the sake of her people. In the end, she and the Jews were saved from the evil Haman. Our sacrifices may not be as dramatic; yet, major lifestyle changes are dramatic within themselves. Be kind to yourself and be willing to make changes.

6. Never lose hope.
    “After the ordeal was over, Esther requested that her story be documented. What was Esther trying to accomplish with this and what is her message to us? According to one commentary, the basic message of Esther’s story is this: No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, never lose hope.”     
     This message couldn’t be more helpful, nor more true.  A diagnosis of Fibromyalgia is not a life sentence. It does NOT mean our life is over! It just means that things have to change. You never know when life is going to change. Now, you ask, how can you change your life for the positive? This is where someone like me can help!  As your Fibromyalgia Advisor, I can help you realize your potential and help you find what you can do since your life has turned a 180.
      Not only can I help you with your attitude towards the disorder, but I can help you manage it as well. Whether you need suggestions with diet, ideas for what’s causing certain conditions or ways to exercise, I can help you!
​      Now it’s your turn. Click on the “Work With Me” button above, and sign up for a Complimentary Consultation. I’m looking forward to helping you become your own Queen Esther.